So........I have been pondering this concept lately and I think that we as a society are remiss. If you are expecting a lovely little philosophical blog today move on. This is about my ranting. We just finished the May long weekend. The first taste of Spring for those of us here in Vancouver. Many people get out to celebrate and enjoy life. They throw barbeques or parties, they get together with friends, the go shopping...all sorts of lovely things.
So over the course of the weekend I have been watching facebook statuses. And here's what I have come up with. People are selfish and need to stop whining and be thankful for what they have.
I saw fb statuses whining about iphones and absent husbands and free time and prices in Mexico. Well I challenge you to stop. Perhaps instead of whining about all those things, you should be thankful that you have an iphone, and a husband and free time to shop and money to shop and money to BE in Mexico. There are many that cannot afford rent let alone an iphone, many whose deepest desires are to have a husband, many who haven't had a vacation in as long as they can remember, and many who wear used clothing because they can't afford new.
So I want to challenge you: next time you feel like whining about something, turn it around and instead be thankful you have what you were going to whine about in the first place.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Nicknames
I have recently been struck, with how important nicknames are for children. As I think back on my own life, wishing I had had a nickname, and reflect on how my children cry out for a nickname, it becomes apparent, just how important it is. Upon further pondering, it becomes obvious as to why: every child want to feel important, every child wants to feel that they truly are something special, that they are set apart from the others. I have had nicknames for my children but.....I think I have found the ones that fit. Jeffrey was my firstborn, he was my little bud.........or buddy.....and it fit. So he remains my Bud. Missy was my kitten......when she was a baby she made a sound that was very akin to a purring sound so she became my kitten.......and she loves it although it interchanges with my princess. Now Jamie.....he has been a few different things. First he was my little man:
Then he became Ponyboy:
Because of this:
and by far Ponyboy is his favorite. So now I have it, two of my three children have two nicknames, and one has one and that is how I affectionately refer to them because it sets them apart from each other and it means the world to them!
Then he became Ponyboy:
Because of this:
and by far Ponyboy is his favorite. So now I have it, two of my three children have two nicknames, and one has one and that is how I affectionately refer to them because it sets them apart from each other and it means the world to them!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
It's Going to be Alright
My girlfriend posted this on her blog this morning and so I am going to do the same (here), although we blog from differing perspectives. I have an anniversary of sorts coming up in a month. It will be four years. As this day looms in front of me, I remember the life changing decision that I made. I remember the angst, the constant battle, the act of walking out onto my own plank, closing my eyes, and jumping, not knowing who, if anyone, would catch me. As I wrestled in the dark with all the unknowns of what my future lay, and how I would take the next step, terror gripped my soul. And yet, it wasn't just terror. It was something akin to hope, that things finally might be shifting. I had dreams of where I saw myself and where I am today, is not where I saw myself.
At that moment, when things looked as bleak as they could get, I did what seemed to be the impossible. For you see, in that bleakness, shone a silver glimmer, ever so tiny, ever so threadbare, but there it sat. That shimmering sliver was a hope for my future. And yet, now here I sit, four years later and.........
None of the dreams I held as I made that decision, have really come to pass. Sure there are some that look like they are just around the corner, but if my life has taught me one thing, it has taught me this: don't count on anything until it is in your hands. That lesson has been pounded into the very fibre of my being in the past 6 months. For you see, there was some thing that I had held hope in, some thing that I had counted on and it fell apart, and then I picked up the pieces hoped in it again and it fell apart, This happened about four-five times in total. What did I learn? Don't hope.
So today I sit here, with some anniversaries looming ahead of me. Without the hope that forced my steps, slowly coming to a reconciliation of what life will entail in my future. It looks bleak. This time? No shimmering sliver. Just desolate. Bleak. Empty. Void.
At that moment, when things looked as bleak as they could get, I did what seemed to be the impossible. For you see, in that bleakness, shone a silver glimmer, ever so tiny, ever so threadbare, but there it sat. That shimmering sliver was a hope for my future. And yet, now here I sit, four years later and.........
None of the dreams I held as I made that decision, have really come to pass. Sure there are some that look like they are just around the corner, but if my life has taught me one thing, it has taught me this: don't count on anything until it is in your hands. That lesson has been pounded into the very fibre of my being in the past 6 months. For you see, there was some thing that I had held hope in, some thing that I had counted on and it fell apart, and then I picked up the pieces hoped in it again and it fell apart, This happened about four-five times in total. What did I learn? Don't hope.
So today I sit here, with some anniversaries looming ahead of me. Without the hope that forced my steps, slowly coming to a reconciliation of what life will entail in my future. It looks bleak. This time? No shimmering sliver. Just desolate. Bleak. Empty. Void.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day!
What a wonderful day! Honor and celebrate the wonderful woman in the world whom you call MOM. And if you are a Mom, be honoured and celebrated for all the things you do. Nice concept isn't it?
Yet, for me, those things don't happen today. For you see I sit in a position of being estranged from my mom. We don't talk. The details are too numerous and convoluted to begin to explain why. Irregardless of what those reasons are, I know that this was something that had to be. Does it make it easy? Nope. Just because it had to happen doesn't make it easier to deal with. That does not make this day any less painful. It's a weird situation to be in, for in one sense this is a situation of the living dead. She is alive and breathing and carrying on with her life, but dead in my existence. In counseling we have a term for it, it's called ambiguous loss. And to be honest ambiguous loss is far harder to deal with for I need to, and have had to deal with grieving this loss but there really isn't closure on it. When we think of someone dying, we grieve but there is a sense of finality to it for that person is no longer alive. But such is not the situation for me because the person that I grieve, lives and breathes and interacts with my siblings...... So I cannot really bring closure to this. Think of it this way, this wound remains open and bleeding despite all attempts to stem the flow.
So, as if that weren't enough. Mothers day is a day to celebrate and for intact families, that happens at the behest of dad. He gets it and usually elicits the kids to plan something special for mom. But guess what? No dad here. So no one to take the kids by the hand and plan a breakfast, no one to cook the dinner, no one to gather everyone together and lead the herd to have a great day out doing wonderful things. Once again, it comes down to ME, and solely ME. I have had to plan something, some way for the kids to think they and mom had a great day. Not only that, but I have to deal with breaking up the fights of the kids and cleaning up their messes etc etc.
So for all you moms who have a husband who has planned a great day for you, and for all you daughters who had the privilege of honoring and thanking your mother, be grateful and remember the blessings that you have, for their are those of us out there that have netiher....
Yet, for me, those things don't happen today. For you see I sit in a position of being estranged from my mom. We don't talk. The details are too numerous and convoluted to begin to explain why. Irregardless of what those reasons are, I know that this was something that had to be. Does it make it easy? Nope. Just because it had to happen doesn't make it easier to deal with. That does not make this day any less painful. It's a weird situation to be in, for in one sense this is a situation of the living dead. She is alive and breathing and carrying on with her life, but dead in my existence. In counseling we have a term for it, it's called ambiguous loss. And to be honest ambiguous loss is far harder to deal with for I need to, and have had to deal with grieving this loss but there really isn't closure on it. When we think of someone dying, we grieve but there is a sense of finality to it for that person is no longer alive. But such is not the situation for me because the person that I grieve, lives and breathes and interacts with my siblings...... So I cannot really bring closure to this. Think of it this way, this wound remains open and bleeding despite all attempts to stem the flow.
So, as if that weren't enough. Mothers day is a day to celebrate and for intact families, that happens at the behest of dad. He gets it and usually elicits the kids to plan something special for mom. But guess what? No dad here. So no one to take the kids by the hand and plan a breakfast, no one to cook the dinner, no one to gather everyone together and lead the herd to have a great day out doing wonderful things. Once again, it comes down to ME, and solely ME. I have had to plan something, some way for the kids to think they and mom had a great day. Not only that, but I have to deal with breaking up the fights of the kids and cleaning up their messes etc etc.
So for all you moms who have a husband who has planned a great day for you, and for all you daughters who had the privilege of honoring and thanking your mother, be grateful and remember the blessings that you have, for their are those of us out there that have netiher....
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