I have been watching various statuses over the past few days as people are gearing toward Hallowe'en and one thing that keeps popping up is the question (from adult to adult): What are you wearing for hallowe'en. Now when I was a kids, adults didn't dress up which then begs the question: What is it, in dressing up that attracts adults?
A few answers come to mind:
1) Its a bit of a regression state when we adults get to play.
This is a compelling answer. Many adults these days do not take the time to play and we live in a world where there is constant stress: be that as a result of early dysfunction or be that a result of just trying to survive in today's economic structure. Regardless of the root (did I really just say that?) perhaps dressing up is just a time that we get to play and be young at heart without the fear of being judged. For is not Hallowe'en about dressing up and having fun? Perhaps it is merely an excuse to be a kid again (something akin to Disneyland!)
2) It is a means to allow a hidden identity to emerge.
Now this answer demands a deeper consideration. As children, many of us had fantasies of what we would like to be. Loosely speaking for boys it was the hero and loosely speaking for girls it somehow stems around being beautiful and loved. Now look at the commercial costumes for adults. For men: Heros or Villians, and for women: something beautiful, sexy or sultry. So is hallowe'en an excuse for us to release those wishes we had as children and be those things that we wish we were but know we are not?
3) Is it a time when we can take our outer masks off?
Hallowe'en is a time of putting masks on so why do I talk of taking them off? Hold on and bear with me. In life we all wear masks that hide our true identity, the one that only we know ourselves as. We wear a mask of employee or boss, husband or wife, mother or father, social butterfly.....the list goes on. But how often are we transparent, how often do we reveal our real and deep thoughts and dreams? Ninety nine percent of the time we filter before we reveal what we allow others to see. So is hallowe'en then a time when we turn our internal filter off and reveal those deeper things that make us who we are. Take a hero vs. villian. We have both motivations in us.....and in our daily life we may be one more than the other....so does Hallowe'en allow our alter ego to emerge for a night? Instead of the lawyer always fighting for justice, on Hallowe'en he becomes the villian? Of the guy at work who is always stirring the pot and being a s*%t disturber...on Hallowe'en he becomes the hero?
What do you think?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
My date
So as I was fortunate enough to be able to take my daughter out for a date, in a completely unplanned moment, I was able to do that with my youngest son yesterday. What started out as shopping for his Hallowe'en costume turned out into a wonderful day. After his dance practice, I picked him up and away we went. You see this year, Jamie's hallowe'en costume has been a problem. For you see, he wanted to be a clone trooper. Now, when it comes to costumes I am a bit picky and these printed jumpsuit ones just don't do it for me. Thankfully I discovered that they make a deluxe version with padding for the muscles etc etc. I was VERY excited...til I went shopping......$85.00-$100.00 later I could get him an amazing costume!
say it with me now.....
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
I don't even spend that on normal clothes for MYSELF let alone something that would be worn once. And so the hunt began. We went to Costco but no such luck, I had already been to Value Village with no luck so off we went to Wal Mart. After browing their crazy selection, we went through the rest of the mall and ended back up at Wal Mart, relooking at all the costumes again. Then as we went one by one through them all.....
we found it!!!!!
My ghoul? or phantom? or grim reaper? Not sure what it is but that doesn't matter............CUZ HE LOVES IT and in fact told me this morning, how very happy he still is.
After getting the costume we went to McD's where my loving, generous boy, shared his prized chicken nuggets with me (the only thing he likes on the menu). Then he asked if we could go to Hyde Creek because they were having a spooky swim. So I checked it out and sure enough they were, as well as a host of other things. So away we went, and he swam, then we went to the carnival where they had all sorts of hallowe'en carnival rides. The best part was glow in the dark golf. For you see, between his black mask and red glowing eyes, he can't see squat. And the "glow in the dark" part of gold was led rods that lit the path. The balls nor the clubs glowed and the lights were out. So he hit the ball and then had to kneel on the floor to find it before he could hit it again saying "I can't find my ball! I can't find my ball!" It was the funniest thing I watched all day.
After the carnival games, we went to the chocolate extravaganza and then we went through the haunted house. All done by 4. Except Jamie wanted to stay for the REALLY haunted house at 5. So after killing an hour ( no pun intended), we went through the house again, this time with the lights out and yes at various points, Jamie and I both got scared.
And that was the most perfect date day for Jamie and I......we both agree!
say it with me now.....
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
I don't even spend that on normal clothes for MYSELF let alone something that would be worn once. And so the hunt began. We went to Costco but no such luck, I had already been to Value Village with no luck so off we went to Wal Mart. After browing their crazy selection, we went through the rest of the mall and ended back up at Wal Mart, relooking at all the costumes again. Then as we went one by one through them all.....
we found it!!!!!
My ghoul? or phantom? or grim reaper? Not sure what it is but that doesn't matter............CUZ HE LOVES IT and in fact told me this morning, how very happy he still is.
After getting the costume we went to McD's where my loving, generous boy, shared his prized chicken nuggets with me (the only thing he likes on the menu). Then he asked if we could go to Hyde Creek because they were having a spooky swim. So I checked it out and sure enough they were, as well as a host of other things. So away we went, and he swam, then we went to the carnival where they had all sorts of hallowe'en carnival rides. The best part was glow in the dark golf. For you see, between his black mask and red glowing eyes, he can't see squat. And the "glow in the dark" part of gold was led rods that lit the path. The balls nor the clubs glowed and the lights were out. So he hit the ball and then had to kneel on the floor to find it before he could hit it again saying "I can't find my ball! I can't find my ball!" It was the funniest thing I watched all day.
After the carnival games, we went to the chocolate extravaganza and then we went through the haunted house. All done by 4. Except Jamie wanted to stay for the REALLY haunted house at 5. So after killing an hour ( no pun intended), we went through the house again, this time with the lights out and yes at various points, Jamie and I both got scared.
And that was the most perfect date day for Jamie and I......we both agree!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Governing One's self
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine around politics. And the topic of governing one's self and moral character came up. We were talking of the my taking issue with the issue with the moral character of politicians and how, if they cannot govern themselves, then I am leary of them governing a country.
That thought led to others. The primary one being that despite the fact that we do it every day, we have no right to attempt to "govern" the life of another individual. For no one knows their experience better than they. Even I, as a therapist, do not attempt to govern the lives of my clients. I may see things they don't see. I may offer suggestions they might be unaware of, but everything and anything I suggest is a hypothesis and the free will to choose to go where I lead or test what I suggest remains in the hands of the clients.
It truly is a gift and an honor to be handed the pain of others and trusted with it. And it's not something that I take lightly. And yet, how many politicians, lose the gravity of the position that they hold. The act negligently within their own lives, and for me that calls into question their ability to act with integrity in the position of power that they hold,
And yet how many of us do the same? How many of us, choose to turn a blind eye to our own shortcomings and instead focus on the shortcomings of others, likely without any depth of knowledge as to that person's experience or their reasonings. And yet we stand, upon our moral high horse, and scrutinize and call into question and judgement, the lives and decisions of others while purposefully and blindly turning away from our own.
You see....I am not fit to govern someone else's life. I need to ensure that first and foremost I walk my own with integrity.
Food for thought.......
That thought led to others. The primary one being that despite the fact that we do it every day, we have no right to attempt to "govern" the life of another individual. For no one knows their experience better than they. Even I, as a therapist, do not attempt to govern the lives of my clients. I may see things they don't see. I may offer suggestions they might be unaware of, but everything and anything I suggest is a hypothesis and the free will to choose to go where I lead or test what I suggest remains in the hands of the clients.
It truly is a gift and an honor to be handed the pain of others and trusted with it. And it's not something that I take lightly. And yet, how many politicians, lose the gravity of the position that they hold. The act negligently within their own lives, and for me that calls into question their ability to act with integrity in the position of power that they hold,
And yet how many of us do the same? How many of us, choose to turn a blind eye to our own shortcomings and instead focus on the shortcomings of others, likely without any depth of knowledge as to that person's experience or their reasonings. And yet we stand, upon our moral high horse, and scrutinize and call into question and judgement, the lives and decisions of others while purposefully and blindly turning away from our own.
You see....I am not fit to govern someone else's life. I need to ensure that first and foremost I walk my own with integrity.
Food for thought.......
Missy's day!
Poor lovely beautiful darling girl, deserved to spend the whole day with Mom. She has been craving and asking for it for-ever. And the day finally came. She slept in my bed and we were up and at 'em in the morning. We threw the camera in the car so we could pictorally record our day! After a Starbux run, because there was no coffee in the house we were off. We took the Sumas crossing which gave us a border wait of 25 minutes as opposed to 90. Missy took the significant pictures until the border (ie-oru starbux run and the border) and then once over EVERYTHING was documented. Including American horses, which, if you didn't know, are different than Canadian horses. So on our drive we heard a news story about a man being arrested in Canada for housing 5 different firearms. When questioned why, he answered because the elves were stalking him. In all honesty, this guy believed in elves......AND believed they were stalking him.
So, I reiterated this to Missy. Her response? Well Mom, the only elves that are real are Santa's elves. If there were any elves that were stalking him it would be them and they are only checking to see if he has been good or bad!
I laughed...........really laughed.........out loud.......long and hard.
That was a priceless moment and one I won't forget!!!
So we carried on down to Burlington Outlets where we found the Lulu Lemon factory outlet. My little girl has been craving a Lulu Lemon hoodie because you see 990% of the girls in her class own Lulu Lemon stuff. Now normally I am NOT the mother who gets sucked into name brands, but I also remember being the young girl who had ALL of her clothes handed down to me, and how that made me the laughing stock of the grade 7 population.
I remember one horrific event where I had to wear these boots that were handed down to me, had to wear them because of the rain.....the torment I lived during that year has still scarred me
So I found her a Lulu Lemon hoodie that she ADORES for a price I could justify. While at Burlington, we checked out a few more shops. Not the extent of checking that I wanted to do but I didn't have money so I didn't want to put myself in the way of temptation.
We left Burlington and headed toward Bellis Fair and Missy kept on with her photojournalism. After getting a quick bite, we wandered around the mall, hit a few stores that I needed to hit and then headed back to home. Once home we had a quick easy dinner and curled up and watched three movies before we crawled into bed.
Missy's thoughts on the day?
IT WAS PERFECT!!!!!
So, I reiterated this to Missy. Her response? Well Mom, the only elves that are real are Santa's elves. If there were any elves that were stalking him it would be them and they are only checking to see if he has been good or bad!
I laughed...........really laughed.........out loud.......long and hard.
That was a priceless moment and one I won't forget!!!
So we carried on down to Burlington Outlets where we found the Lulu Lemon factory outlet. My little girl has been craving a Lulu Lemon hoodie because you see 990% of the girls in her class own Lulu Lemon stuff. Now normally I am NOT the mother who gets sucked into name brands, but I also remember being the young girl who had ALL of her clothes handed down to me, and how that made me the laughing stock of the grade 7 population.
I remember one horrific event where I had to wear these boots that were handed down to me, had to wear them because of the rain.....the torment I lived during that year has still scarred me
So I found her a Lulu Lemon hoodie that she ADORES for a price I could justify. While at Burlington, we checked out a few more shops. Not the extent of checking that I wanted to do but I didn't have money so I didn't want to put myself in the way of temptation.
We left Burlington and headed toward Bellis Fair and Missy kept on with her photojournalism. After getting a quick bite, we wandered around the mall, hit a few stores that I needed to hit and then headed back to home. Once home we had a quick easy dinner and curled up and watched three movies before we crawled into bed.
Missy's thoughts on the day?
IT WAS PERFECT!!!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
walking dead
Well...it's been awhile since I posted and to be honest, I am doing a double posting today. It's been a crazy week. Last wednesday, I sstepped on a nail which garnered me a trip to ER. Two days and two more nails later I got into an accident. So far estimated damage is 7500.00.
BUT........anyway.....I wa talking to a colleague of mine and the topic of anticipatory grief came up. Anticipatory grief is a grief state that happens when one is anticipating the death of a loved one who is pronounced terminal but the death has yet to occur.
In ou conversations along this vein, I put forth the metaphor of walking dead. For you see, I am the walking dead. I am alive.....kicking.....screaming......and walking and yet I am dead.
For certain people that once were close to me, I no longer exist. We run into each other from time to time, we see each other, and we hear of each other...and yet I am walking dead to them. I no longer exist, nor factor into their lives to such an extent that I may as well be dead. When we "accidentally" cross paths, it is as if, I, was not in the room let alone having been born.
So I walk dead............I am the walking dead.........
BUT........anyway.....I wa talking to a colleague of mine and the topic of anticipatory grief came up. Anticipatory grief is a grief state that happens when one is anticipating the death of a loved one who is pronounced terminal but the death has yet to occur.
In ou conversations along this vein, I put forth the metaphor of walking dead. For you see, I am the walking dead. I am alive.....kicking.....screaming......and walking and yet I am dead.
For certain people that once were close to me, I no longer exist. We run into each other from time to time, we see each other, and we hear of each other...and yet I am walking dead to them. I no longer exist, nor factor into their lives to such an extent that I may as well be dead. When we "accidentally" cross paths, it is as if, I, was not in the room let alone having been born.
So I walk dead............I am the walking dead.........
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