Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I have found that there is a theme cropping up in my life as of late. Words, actions and congruency. We have all heard the old adage, actions speak louder than words...but do they? I think I may come from a unique place here, but here goes.

Words are what we say, what we speak and they can bring death and life. Many people will say what they say marks who they are. It's a true testament of their character. They don't lie so what they say is true to who they are. So don't necessarily focus on what they do per se. For instance, the one who says that they love you but don't necessarily go out of their way to "show" it. You should know after all, for they will keep telling you.

Then there are those who go the other way and never speak the words but tell you to determine their love for you but what they do. Maybe they shower you in gifts, maybe they are constantly doing you chores for you. And they maintain that you should know they love you based on what they do.

But as far as I can see it there are problems with both of those scenarios. We ALL are guilty of saying things we don't mean. So if we are to take the word person and determine their love by their words we are in trouble. There is life and death in the power of the tongue. So what happens when there is a fight and the two of you start getting nasty with your words...then what? Which words do you listen to? The ones where they said they loved you? Or the ones during the fight where the hurt you? We all know it takes 10 positive things to erase one negative. So ten positive statements to erase one negative said in a fight. Talk about confusing messages.

Actions speak louder than words. So the person who "does" things for you but never tells you what you mean to them. How is one to rest in that? And to go one further what if their words and actions are in opposition? How do you reconcile between these two? For a hypervigilant person such as myself, actions as a gauge don't work. Why? Well because my life consisted of monitoring every action of every individual in order to determine my safety. So, and run with me here, what if my dad was one of the "action" people but he had had a hard day at work and then got into a bad traffic snarl? He know comes home and he's in a bad mood, walks through the front door, slams the door and throws his briefcase on his desk, slamming doors where ever he goes in the house. So I run up to give him a hug cuz he's home and I get pushed away. Well that action shows he doesn't love me and yet his actions are actually more indicative of his day than me. But he tells me he loves me.

So problems in both scenarios. As far as I can figure it, what needs to happen is congruency. Congruency between words and actions. If you say you love me, treat me as such. Show me as well as tell me. Congruency speaks to character, it speaks to integrity as a person. When we can align what we say with what we do, it is a testament on who we are. I recall someone I know who maintains that they are empathetic, compassionate, full of grace and mercy for people. And yet, they are full of anger, hatred, resentment and bitterness. I recall instances when the minute they felt an unjustice was done, to them or people close to them they turn into vile and poison spewing individuals. But then where is the grace and compassion and mercy that they will swear to you is WHO they are? Which are you to believe?

I think of someone else I know. Claims he loves this girl and always will. Yet none of his actions indicate such. He acts on impulses and then if caught comes up with some lameo excuse. He never makes her his priority. Lots of empty promises. How is this poor girlfriend of mine to believe that he does in fact love her.

Congruency is key. It speaks to who we are, it demonstrates our character and integrity and when we live in it brings untold amounts of peace!

An update on Jeff

So since the mail strike, our mail has been arriving far later in the afternoon. And today it arrived about 5 minutes ago. Upon seeing what came in the mail, it didn't take me long to make the necessary phone calls, one followed by another as I had to phone back considering I had forgotten some pertinent information. But before I get into all that, I am asking you to take a look. Take a look at this:

Stare into those eyes, look at that beaming face and smile and tell me that this kid does NOT deserve the best.

I have mentioned and alluded to this before, Jeff has had a rough life. The latest being the assualt on his person and attempted robbery. Well the police had done their investigation and along with Jeffrey's medical records forwarded the Crown Council. Now that was before the mail strike and I have not heard anything since. I wondered if they were going to do nothing and I thought about phoning to see but one thing got in front of another.

And then the mail arrived. In the mail was a letter for Jeff from Crown Council. Well Jeff is on holidays so I opened it there was a letter to Jeff. The accused is headed to court tomorrow and they want a victim impact statement as this will be taken into account upon sentencing.

Finally son has justice! Finally for this (previous trauma) he will be able to retain a sense of justice that that right was done because he stood up for right!

Praise God, my son gets closure!