Mother's Day!

What a wonderful day! Honor and celebrate the wonderful woman in the world whom you call MOM. And if you are a Mom, be honoured and celebrated for all the things you do. Nice concept isn't it?

Yet, for me, those things don't happen today. For you see I sit in a position of being estranged from my mom. We don't talk. The details are too numerous and convoluted to begin to explain why. Irregardless of what those reasons are, I know that this was something that had to be. Does it make it easy? Nope. Just because it had to happen doesn't make it easier to deal with. That does not make this day any less painful. It's a weird situation to be in, for in one sense this is a situation of the living dead. She is alive and breathing and carrying on with her life, but dead in my existence. In counseling we have a term for it, it's called ambiguous loss. And to be honest ambiguous loss is far harder to deal with for I need to, and have had to deal with grieving this loss but there really isn't closure on it. When we think of someone dying, we grieve but there is a sense of finality to it for that person is no longer alive. But such is not the situation for me because the person that I grieve, lives and breathes and interacts with my siblings...... So I cannot really bring closure to this. Think of it this way, this wound remains open and bleeding despite all attempts to stem the flow.

So, as if that weren't enough. Mothers day is a day to celebrate and for intact families, that happens at the behest of dad. He gets it and usually elicits the kids to plan something special for mom. But guess what? No dad here. So no one to take the kids by the hand and plan a breakfast, no one to cook the dinner, no one to gather everyone together and lead the herd to have a great day out doing wonderful things. Once again, it comes down to ME, and solely ME. I have had to plan something, some way for the kids to think they and mom had a great day. Not only that, but I have to deal with breaking up the fights of the kids and cleaning up their messes etc etc.

So for all you moms who have a husband who has planned a great day for you, and for all you daughters who had the privilege of honoring and thanking your mother, be grateful and remember the blessings that you have, for their are those of us out there that have netiher....