strength

So today I saw a client which is a bit abnormal for usually I see clients on Thursdays. Well today I was forutnate enough to witness inner strength. And some things finally came together for me.

Today I saw a client that has undergone untold amounts of trauma. In session I presented this client with a course of action that I thought would be most beneficial in aiding their healing. However, I asked a lot of this client as I laid out our therapeutic journey. I know I asked a lot.

 I am asking this client to step out of their current comfortable coping mechanisms and entertain a new therapeutic method that will not only ease the trauma but give them new coping mechanisms. However, this requires some vulnerability and this requires looking at and facing things that this client would prefer to never face again.

So today I saw this client gather their inner resources and go where no man has gone before.....back into their past to face their story.  I saw this client, inhale deeply, gather their resources and go there. And I was awed as time and time again in our sesssion despite the overwhelming intensity of emotions, despite the exhaustion that continued to mount. This client continually pulled out more and more and fought through deeper and deeper.

As I drove home, my thoughts turned to the inner strength of this client and how despite everything they have already suffered, they continued to pull out more and more, keep going and push through knowing their life and their freedom is at stake.

And I turned inward at this point and reflected on myself. Many many times, especially during this last bit of my scholastic journey, I have often been seen as being strong. That has never made sense to me, never resonated with me. For in my view I did what I had to do.

But perhaps, just maybe....what I saw in my client today, this fight to push through and garner thier freedom, this fight to keep going when pain is too intense, emotions are too overwhelming and exhaustion looms around the corner, perhaps that is what others see. And perhaps that is why they term me strong. Maybe what I saw in my client today, is seen in me. What I saw my client do today, left me in awe and inspired by her strength. Maybe thats what others see in me. This same thing.

Thank you my client of today, for letting me learn from you.