High and Hard Road

Quite some time back, maybe in the early beginnings of this blog, I remember writing a post about taking the high road and how difficult it was to do that, especially in light of seeing no measurable results. I'm not going to kid you, it still is rather difficult to rein in your flesh, put aside your desires for vengeance and take the road less traveled. In my case the truth. A bit more about truth in a minute.

What I have discovered, is if done long enough the high road does reap its rewards. Many times I have looked over my life and wondered what the purpose was in refraining from natural human instinct to get vengeance. It feels very justified in doing so. But time and again, I would force myself to adhere to the truth, not strike back, and nurse my wounds.

Lately (roughly about a month) I have been the target of extreme maliciousness and viscousness. Many personal attacks and many lies are once again getting bandied about regarding who I am, my character, and my integrity.

And I simply refused to engage. Was that easy? No! Every inclination in me wanted to strike back, but I didn't. Instead, I found the people that I needed to, the people who know me, the people who provide a safe space for me to cry and vent, and then they help put me back together.

I had a conversation with some of these other parties recently. I had done my processing to the point that I was able to simply quietly distill the arguments with the truth. Many accusations were thrown at me during the course of that conversation and I was able to simply reiterate the truth. And then I was able to bless. I'm pretty sure that the other party will not see it as a blessing but I know that my motives and intentions are true and pure and right. And I know that my heart is to bless. And furthermore, God knows that as well.

So hard road? YES! Worth it? I see it now, though I didn't see it then!. So what is it? Well, I think that its a few things. I think that the biggest thing that I am living in right now, is peace in my heart regarding the situation. I can think back on it and be ok. It doesn't wrack my innards. I also know my children are seeing a good godly example. Now don't get me wrong, they see me fall apart and be sad and be hurt, but they also have seen God heal that and for me to be peaceful.

And the other funny thing that happened? In the discussions I had held. Once the truth was presented, they had nothing to say, no responses. Sure there were attempts and arguments, but the truth held out and shut it down. Someone once told me that those who have weak positions will leave their positions and make it personal. And it's something that I have seen. Positions have been faulty and weak so character gets attacked instead.

Now that other bit about the truth. Two other observations: we have all heard the adage, you cannot change another person, you can only change you! But paired with that is this: often when you change what you do, or how you operate it forces a change on the other. And for me this last little bit rang true. My actions and words in this situation were based on what is true and what is right. And I did that regardless of how opposing parties chose to conduct themselves. And what happened? Their behavior changed. Long-term? I don't know. Does it matter? Nope! Because I have done the right thing and my heart is at peace and God is pleased. I could very easily have played the tit for tat game but frankly although it may feel justified in the moment, there is nothing gained. I would rather take the hard road, do the right thing and have peace reign. Don't get me wrong, I expect that this will be tested, at which point, I pray God reminds me of this victory which will then prompt me to do the same again.

The other thing about right and true actions? When you don't buy into the games and the vengeance seeking, manipulation and deception, the words in Proverbs come true:

Proverbs 25:21-22 (New King James Version)

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat;
And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head,
And the LORD will reward you.


I think the point to this verse is to not return evil for evil but rather return good for evil. It's an interesting point, because I think a lot of people see this as a verse that "allows" the shenanigans of those against you. But having experienced this in the last month, it is so not about the other party. It is about your own freedom, your own heart, and your own peace. I was able to see this and walk this out. I saw how my good and just actions impacted the other parties. Let's just say that its not fun to be the other parties.

I don't know the future and I don't know if this will last. But I do know that I have come to a different place right now. It's been a hard month through one thing and another. But for right now? I am ok. I came out swimming after what felt like drowning and I hope that I can hang onto this lesson, let bygones be bygones and carry my life and conduct myself in a manner that continues to honor God. I hope I remember this lesson and should there be a next time, I will already have my actions (purposeful and determined, logical and rational and prethought) already worked out so that I don't react ( behaviours based on intense emotions).

Thanks for listening....