Trauma and its Extremes

Lately, I have been doing a ton of thinking about a ton of things. One that returns periodically in my mind is the subject of trauma and its effect that it has one people. We all know the typical PTSD type of things that prolonged trauma can cause: hypervigilance, a sense of foreshortened future, recurring dreams and flashbacks etc etc but one thing that I have noticed is that trauma causes extremes.

Think for a minute about trauma: when a person lives in continuous trauma it causes them to live in extremes. Extreme feelings, extreme reactions and extreme thinking. So much so that some simply cannot live in a sense of calm. Once the trauma abates, they don't know how to function so they may cause chaos and crisis because that's the only place they are comfortable.

Another way this manifests is in extremes. And I think this is just another outlet that occurs in place of chaos creation. Take me for instance. I lived in huge trauma as a child. And as a result I need things in my life to be extreme. Take my showers for instance. They are HOT HOT HOT. Hotter than most people can tolerate.

And touch. I know a lot of people that love to have a soft touch, maybe a gentle massage or the like but for me that drives me absolutely insane. If someone were to rub my arm, I NEED it to be with a good strong amount of firmness. If it isn't firm, if it is too gentle, then it drives me mental, almost to the point of hurting. I can't deal with it. It makes me antsy.

Another way I have noticed it is with exercise. In therapy, exercise is recommended as a way to combat depression. It releases endorphins and seratonin which is your "happy hormone." This then causes a lift in mood. So, as therapists, we recommend daily walks or hitting the gym for a half hour. And yet for me that doesn't work. For me, only exercise in the extreme causes a lift in mood. So for me, that means intense exercise for anywhere from 60-90 minutes. Then and only then, can I notice a life in mood.

Those are only a few examples that I have randomly noticed. If pressed I could likely come up with some more. So it made me wonder as to the extremes that trauma causes in people and how it impacts our preferences in things. I know for myself, I need things in extremes in order for it to register....