Not quite as easy as I thought

So this whole roberry thing.....recovering is not quite as easy as I thought. I figured that once I got the kids sorted out and safe, life would go back to normal. I'd replace their lost items piece by piece as I could and we could go on living. I am re-doing the kids rooms, and I am going to scrub this place down like mad. I have worked with some of the kids and will continue working with them to use this opportunity to purge things they no longer want. Give ourselves a living space makeover so to speak.

Then on a more personal note, take the kids to as much therapy as they need. Get them de-traumatized so they can remove this violation from their psyche and continue to live in peace and safety. That was my plan. And it's a good one!

And so we started. All three kids rooms have be cleaned and the mess the thieves did is straightened up. One of the rooms has been purged. All Missy's little girl stuff is gone. She is growing up after all, and its time to put a rest to her barbies etc... Missy's room has been repainted so that its a "new" room for her, not the one that she lived in when she was robbed. I will work with the boys on purging their rooms, Jeff won't need much if any but Jamie will...And then I will paint their rooms how they want them.

SO here I thought, in all my naievity that things were going well, as much as can be expected. I was being a good mom, doing the right things. Taking care of the kids safety needs, re-establishing our sense of safety and not letting the thieves win further by keeping us afraid.

And then I went to bed last night. And I fell asleep really quickly. We finished at about 930 and I was asleep before 1030 which for me is huge. And then I woke up, haunted byt the nightmares. Haunted by nightmares of more robberies, more break ins, more violations.

I should have seen this coming. I am a trauma therapist after all. I guess just somehow, I figured I wouldn't be as affected. Sure I was initially. I did a lot of crying and then through blogging and talking, and plans to re-establish ourselves, I seemed to have gotten a hold on things. Until...

I fall asleep, and I am alone and I am vulnerable......then they start....the nightmares creep in and the thieves continue to rob me. This time of my sleep. In my dreams they come back and force me to relive the violations we already once suffered. In my dreams.....they win.......