Wooing

I looked up the term "to woo:. the online dictionary defines it as

1. to seek the favor, affection or love of....

there are other definitions but I think that this is the one that best fits.

I think I find myself being wooed. There is a gentleman that I know of that has readily admitted to me that he loves me. And I believe that as a result, he is wooing me. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that this is something that he set out to do purposefully, I think that based out of his love for me, his actions are such that it entails that I am being wooed.

And I don't know what to do with this. When I was a little girl, as most little girls do, I dreamt of being a princess that would be pursued and courted by her prince. I dreamt of having a prince fall madly in love with me and then court me and woo me to win my love.

Such a little girl fairy tale I know. And then as I got older I got scoffed at and told I was no such thing as  a princess and to drop the princess complex and get such childish notions out of my head. In a manner of speaking, I was told to grow up and get real. Well, for me these were dangerous words, for I was in an abusive marriage. These words told me that that was the best I could hope for and I was to stay there. These words acted somewhat like the keys to a jail cell that turned the lock shut and kept me imprisoned.

So I stayed. And eventually some years later, my marriage did fall apart. Looking back, I see there were things that needed to occur before I could leave. Do I regret staying? at times but I also see what has come out of my staying.....and its ok.

But back to this being wooed and the words that I am NOT a princess to suck it up already (roughly paraphrased).

So this gentleman, unbeknownst to him, started calling me a princess. He didn't know the backstory here. That was quite a shock for I had done a lot of work retraining my thinking, for I was told after all, that I was not a princess and surely everyone else was right, right?

So now this gentleman who has come to love me is calling me a princess. And in fact, he would like to treat me as such. He would like to spoil me, protect me from the dragons of this world, and he would like to ensure my happiness. He would like to solve all my problems and make things easy for me. From the various things he has told me, I come to the conclusion, this man really does love me. And it doesn't appear to be out for selfish gain.

So back to my little girl dream of having someone adore her and love her and court her and woo her.

So part A seems to be here. And I am entirely confused. I find myself not knowing and sitting in this place of being adored by someone but not sure how I feel.

Then I go back ot my picture, I wanted someone to fight for and earn my love.

Back to this gentleman. His actions and his words are such that I find myself turning more and more to him. I find myself wanting to share more and more of my life with him. I find myself wanting to share my dreams and my failures and my fears with him. The best that I can make sense of it is that his actions based out of his love to me, his words, based out of his love to me, seem to be  fighting for and earning my love in return.

Is this then my fairy tale? Am I walking in the midst of my little girl dream of having someone adore her and fight to earn my favor? Am I being wooed?

Interesting......