judgement

So I'm sitting here, faced with a horrid prospect. One that no mother wants to face, one that every single mother fights to ensure does not happen to her kids. And God has once again lifted the blinders over my eyes to some things. However the temptation is just as real. So many times we speak in disdain of single mothers who do the unthinkable to ensure that their children eat and have various comforts. And now....today...i am faced with that decision. I know that I could obtain the resources that I need and I know that I could do so very quickly and very easily. No one would be the wiser.........least of all my kids........their life would carry on and be filled with wondrous things. And so here I sit. My moral compass is strong as is my moral fibre.........but........desperation is also very real. And somehow it speaks far more strongly than my morals right now. So its two hours til they come home.....a lot could be done in two hours.....and they wouldnt know. What they would know is that they have good food and toys and they would feel loved. Mothers sell their souls for their children, why do I think I can be different??? And so I sit and contemplate the unthinkable.....knowing that it is as simple as a walk next door...........