Lessons Learned.....

the hard way. This past while has entailed a lot of lessons learned the hard way. I think of a song that I grew up listening to that discusses that very concept. And so very very often, it hurts as you learn it.

I think of an experience I had in the last day. And I know the many lessons that came out of it. One: don't leave things til the last minute, two: I need to come up with a system of organization, three: shirking things out of fear makes you a victim and doesn't solve the problem, four: in order to keep control and order one must face their fears, five: fear gets in the way of God, six: if you choose to NOT focus on fear or problems and CHOOSE to focus on God the miraculous occurs, seven: desperation is force to be reckoned with and it removes logic from one's thoughts, eight: I make it through things simply by the GRACE of GOD.

Also within the past days from a different experience I learned that my brain needs to be busy and if it isnt kept active then I find myself focussing on negativity. So I struggle because at the same time I know that I need to have downtime. I know I need to engage in self care for myself but the problem I run into is that if my brain is not kept focussed on something then negative becomes the focus and then I become depressed. A challenge to be sure to find the balance.

I also learned that I need to surrender. Surrender it all. Especially the things that are not under my control. And in doing so I find that I am more able to keep focussed and energetic. My learning curve is quick I do believe, but what that entails can be emotional and mental exhaustion as the learning process is INTENSE.

God gives and takes away and I need to remember that He knows what he's doing even when and if I don't. Trust is a hard thing, especially when it looks so very hopeless. I know that there is more but my brain is tired