Forgiveness

Quite a concept this one as i find myelf navigating its waters. Forgiveness is easy for the little things. So why is it that the bigger one feels the transgression, the harder it is to forgive? It's very easy to pay lip service to the words., "Yes I forgive you" while internally there is a battle that still rages. How do you make your emotions line up with forgiveness. I've been exploring some concepts in different conversations, one friend was quick to point out that you have to honor the feeings that you are expereincing, they are real after all. But how do you honor them without having them consume you? I konw that forgiveness is more about the forgiver than the forgivee. Although I do wonder if in forigivng the other, you also allow for the hand of God to move in that life. Many times over the course of things, people have said that forgiveness is a choice and one way to deal with the "bigger" transgressions is to choose to forgive and speak it and everytime you dont feel like forgiving them to do it again. Great *rolls eyes* but that doesnt do anything to the feelings of pain and anger and *insert current emotion here*. Those still rage within. I'm finding that its when i feel those very strong emotions that it becomes hard to forgive. Contribute to that a lack of understanding. For whatever reason, i find that if I can get into the other persons shoes, I can forgive easier. But what to do you do if none of that is available to you? How do you forgive, how do you move past and through and how do you stop the overwhelming emotions to not consume you? Where is the grace and peace for all this?