time of favour

Ok let's face it. for those of you who know me, my life has not been easy. in fact not be easy would be fun. i have some family members and amongst the two of us, we joke (half-heartedly mind you) that we have walked the road to hell and back and we know evil. but depsite that here we are, alive and kicking. now i have been alive and kicking for a long time (longer than I want to admit) and to be honest for the most part i have not liked it. and in the more recent past, i walked through my wilderness. it was lonely, it was empty and i learned a lot. and here i am out the other side.

being in true form as God is, He was there in my wilderness experience. i didnt see it then, but hindsight is 20/20 right? looking back i certainly see His hand now and i will not deny that although it didnt feel like it, He was there and orchestrating events. in His orchestration of the events, i cried out, i pursued and when it felt like i was talking to the air that oh so swiftly swept my words away into the unseen and the unheard, i still pursued and pushed on. the result?

well, it appears that God is looking on me in favour right now. i got some news not 20 minutes ago. not pleasant news to be sure, disappointing in fact, but you know what? my paradigm on how i see these things has changed. previously, i would be upset, perhaps rant and rave. now i find an upside and trust his design. i dont know why this had to happen, but there is a ray of sunshine in it all. and so i remind myself of that ray of sunshine and rest. look for the blessing in the decision and not the curse

and thats just one instance. many things have been happening that point to the fruition of some dreams that i have held dear to my heart for a long long time. in fact i have had a longing to songwrite and sing, i wrote my first worship song. again another small example of my time of favour. and the odd thing is, im not striving. things are dropping in my lap. therefore i know it is not of me and therefore my heart can rest and i can say my God is good to me