Fathers Day

I have been laying low today, giving myself a much needed rest. In doing so, though, my brain has space to go. (If someone knows of the off switch do let me know). So I have been thinking. Today I don't see my dad, he lives in Alberta. I will phone him later and talk with him. So I start to think on what I would have done in previous years. Well, inevitably I would have celebrated with the kids and their dad. They are with him now. So if I wasnt doing that, I would go to my extended family's and see my grampa. He passed away last fall. And so here I sit.

I got a text message today, wishing me a happy Father's Day. Then a g/f wished me the same. Yes my children have a relationship with their father but anyone who knows of my life, knows I am mom and dad to my kids. Here's the kicker, I don't know how to be dad. I don't know what a dad would want to instill in his children. My own relationship with my dad is NOT one to be emulated. My children's dad, well I don't think he should have the title. So the question remains, what do I, their mom, need to teach my children, in place of a dad?

I know two general things: for my boys, I aim to teach them to be gentlemen, hold doors open for women be chivalrous. This one I know is working. My little man Jamie always holds the doors open for me and for women and in fact the other day scooted out of the car and ran around to the drivers side door and opened it for me. I melted as do all women for whom jamie holds or opens the door (although he is very quick to remind me that I need to remember to thank him!). With Jeff this lesson is a little harder and neither of the boys do that for their sister. I know this lesson is more than holding a door open, it is about treating women with respect.

Missy: this one is harder I think to teach, I need to teach her to choose a man, but I need to show her not to find one that is like her father for that is what us girls do. We seek in a mate a relationship that emulates one with our dad. So for this one, I need to teach her against that, and teach her that she is a woman and she deserves to be treated iwth utmost respect and dignity and that her voice deserves to be heard and listened to.

Lastly: I need to teach my boys how to be a spiritual head of their household and I need to teach them that that does NOT mean that they demand control through God's word but rather that they lay themselves down for their spouses and families just as Christ did for his Bride. I need to teach these boys that it is not earthly wisdom spun through Christian verbiage that dictates how they lead their homes, but rather it is a living breathing intimate relationship with their Saviour and the wisdom that comes as a result that will be how they lead their homes.
For Missy: I need to teach her that a wife supports her husband and encourages him and is his strength. However, in this manner I also need to teach her that that does NOT mean that she becomes a door mat but rather that if she is opposed to the thoughts of her spouse that she too gently seeks wisdom for her intimate relationship with her Saviour and gently challenges her husband on his thoughts.

I'm stuck.....first off, is this all? What else does a dad teach his children that I am missing here? Sure there are the more practical things like changing a tire and changing oil and killing bugs etc etc but what more am I missing? There must be more that I don't see cuz Im a girl not a guy and not a dad although i have to be dad.

It's a hard place to be, teaching my children things a dad should when i am not a dad and don't have a good relatioinship with my own dad to fall back on.

Not sure what I will do.........how will I manage to be mom and dad?

So for dads or those of you who know dads who would answer this question, I have posed it in my notes on FB. What is it that a dad teaches his sons, and teaches his daughters.......for now I must be mom and dad.......

happy fathers day to me?????